Jayden's cousin Tiara. He's closer to her little sister's age, but they do not get along very well. There was a lot of fighting that evening.
I wasn't feeling very well when we went over to J.R.'s mom's for Christmas and didn't take any pics. I stole these from Brooke's flickr so I could show you what fun we had.
I love it!
J.R. and I thought it would be a fun idea for Jayden to decorate gingerbread men and make "Santa's" cookies this year. Here's a couple pics....
Jayden's 1st gingerbread man
Hard at work
Cookies he made with mommy
I thought I would throw in a pic of the tree, it's so gorgeous and I couldn't get a picture to justify it!Coleman lost his battle last night with his illness. He was so young and I can only imagine the pain that Jordan and his family are enduring right now! This time of year is hard anyway remembering the loss of Randy. Being strong for J.R. has its challenges when I feel like I can only cry myself. Seeing all the things he has had to endure in the past year can make me bitter at times. I feel my own heart along with his holds a lot of anger and pain. Being married and having children have made me face a lot of demons from my past and in some ways it has been therapeutic and in others it has been disturbing. I fight so many emotions deep inside that I know I shouldn't be feeling. At this very moment I should be holding a precious baby that we lost back in April. Our little one was due Christmas day, but since I have to have a c-section we would already be holding our little boy or girl. I know we will get to have our precious Gavin here in a month but I still hurt for the baby that never was. J.R. has his own very set of issues that turning to him just isn't possible right now. He holds a lot of anger and pain. I always try to deter that anger but I am at a time in my life that I can only understand and only feel compassion. I want to tell him to stop and I do most of the time, but his actions are what he is feeling and I feel its best to be expressed the way that they are being expressed instead of physically like he wants. I am so sick of people taking advantage of his kindness that I literally could do the same things as him sometimes. The past year alone he has hooked several people up with jobs that they themselves would have never gotten. In turn one person relapsed and chose drugs over his friendship and loyalty, one person always calls in sick and halfheartedly gives a damn (excuse my language), and one person snuck behind his back and made up all kinds of lies and stories about J.R. ultimately causing J.R. himself to lose his job. That person then took over J.R.'s position only to fail at what he was doing. J.R. has lost a few friends the past year due to this situation and due to immaturity on their parts, he lost a baby and suffers silently just like I do, he works a job that causes him to be away from his family for a majority of the month, and he deals with jerks on a daily basis, he works ridiculus hours to support his family and put me through college, and he has become sort of the backbone for his entire family. Anytime anything needs to be done for anyone, he does it without a question. He loves his family and wouldn't want it any other way but no one but me sees the struggles he goes through. He's sick of seeing people he loves and cares about getiing hurt and it's wearing him out. He comes home so tired from all the stress of life and work that he can barely keep his eyes open. It's not fair to Jayden, who never gets to play with him because he can barely keep his head up. It's not fair to me to be the only one raising Jayden and to not have a husband because he can't even give up enough energy to give me that time. J.R. actually loves spending time with us, and I actually love my husband. It's something that we both sacrifice to spend our lives together. And I am SICK of people calling him the bad guy and looking at him like he needs to grow up and get his heart right. His heart is right, but he sure is angry and I don't blame him one bit, he deserves to be angry for a little bit. So, no I am not ashamed of my husband or his actions, I love him for everything he does and I stand by him through and through! I dont want any comments on this post, i dont want any phone calls, or text messages either. I just want you to read and understand why my husband and I have been feeling the way we do lately.
A friend that I went to high school with a couple years ago has currently been diagnosed with acute leukemia. He was serving in Iraq at the time and him and his family really need your prayer. For anyone who knows Coleman, also knows that he really is a great guy to be around. He is funnier than anyone that I have ever met and even though it's been a couple years since I have last seen him, he regularly becomes a part of conversation between friends and me because the way he has touched our hearts. His liver is failing and things aren't looking good. Please pray that God will heal his body and please be with his family as they are going through this tough time. Please visit Coleman's blog for more information on his condition. Thanks~
We finally finished the nursery. We have everything thing we need except a few little things. Now all J.R. has to finish is the garage conversion and painting the living room....
